Bugging Snape
by Lyricalyrics
Summary: Elspeth hates many things: Dresses. Cats. Elevators. But none can compare to the hatred she feels towards her own house, and towards Snape. She decided she wasn't going to be that loner girl anymore- she was going to torture him until he let her get into Gryffindor. Warning: Most of the scenes are only Potions and personal ones. Credit from: 101 ways to bug Snape from Youtube.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, guys! After seeing all those 'Ways to Bug Snape' videos on youtube I decided to make this tiny little story/drabble about him and my own OC. I'm only going to mention the classes in Potions, and maybe one more, so don't be all bitchy on me when you tell me I forgot to mention all the other classes.**

** Disclaimer(s): I don't own Harry Potter (I wish!) and I only own my own OC. Another disclaimer is that most of the pranks on here are from _101 Ways to Bug Snape _and other _Bugging Snape _vids on Youtube.**

** P.S. I'm going to create the scenes randomly, so don't ask me to create a whole story.**

Elspeth Wilson sauntered in Potions class with a grin and a T-shirt that read **SNAPE + APPLES= SNAPPLE. **It was her third year at Hogwarts, and she loved torturing the Potions professor with taunts and mocks. The teachers didn't even try to force her into her robes- everyone knew she hated her house (Slytherin) and had tried numerous times to get into Gryffindor, unfortunately to no avail. So, she had insisted that if she was going to be stuck in Slytherin she'd wear her own Muggle clothing, and surprisingly Dumbledore allowed it. She put something on his desk and then slid into one of the front seats.

Snape looked up from his letters at the same moment and scowled at the Muggle makeup remover on his desk. "Miss Wilson," He began in a low, dangerous tone. "What is the meaning of this?" She looked at him with innocent eyes. "Oh, your white facial powder isn't working." She smiled sweetly at him while a few Gryffindors snickered. He skulked over to her desk and glared at her. "Detention, Miss Wilson. My office. 7pm. _Don't _be late." He muttered to her, and turned around just as she called out, "You know I love spending more time with you, Sevy! Oh, and Bellatrix Lestrange sends her love,"

Snape stopped dead in his tracks, his blood boiling, before continuing to walk to his desk. "Wilson, you _will not _call me 'Sevy'. _Ever. _Or I will make sure that you are to be expelled." He said without looking up from his papers. Elspeth just smiled an innocent smile at him and shrugged her shoulders. "Class, turn to page 314." His tone was bored. Elspeth smiled at his tired expression.

Turning to page 314, she saw a monster gorging himself onto a wizard, and she shivered. "Sev- Sorry, I mean Professor Snape- why must you continue to gross your students out with inappropriate pictures that is just as bad as viewing a sexual intercourse on Muggle television? Not to mention that you're greasy hair makes everyone shiver. Did you ever hear of shampoo? It's great, really- you should try it sometime! And get a barber while you're at it!" Elspeth said cheerfully, and this time Snape walked over to her desk, very slowly, and she started to hum the 'Jaws' theme song, getting more intense as he walked closer, and closer, until he loomed over, and Elspeth smiled charmingly at him.

"Miss Wilson, you will be serving detention for five months, and I suggest that you stop being so careless with your comments or else it will be a _year's _worth of detention." He smirked and walked back to his desk. "Can any of you tell me what precise ingredients to put in a Polyjuice Potion?" He asked, and as usual Hermione's hand shot up.

He sighed. "Miss Granger." He drawled unpleasantly. "The ingredients to a Polyjuice Potion are Lacewing Flies, stewed precisely at 21 days, leeches, powdered bicon horn, knotgrass, Fluxweed which is picked at full moon, a shred of Boomslang skin, and a bit of the person you want to turn into- usually hair. It takes exactly one month to prepare the potion."

She said matter-of-factly, and Elspeth smiled at her. "Once again, Miss Granger, your uncanny ability to spew out sentences out of a textbook never fails to shock me." Elspeth felt her own blood boil, and she whipped around. "You're just jealous because she's more smarter then you'll ever be and _she _doesn't cling onto her losses like you do, _Sevvy-dear. _Unlike you, she's more stronger- better- then you'll ever be, so don't go all bitchy on her if she gets on of your questions correct." Snape had listened in outraged fury.

Teasing him once was more than enough. Mocking him- well, she was really asking for it. But this- he could _not _handle. She sounded exactly like Lily- passionate, emotional in her words, but this time she was defending Hermione, not himself. "Wilson, please report to the Headmaster's office after lunch. We shall see to it you will have a U in your Potions classes, and-" "But that's not fair!" Elspeth cried. But then her face twisted into an odd smile. "No, nevermind. Whatever you say, _Sir." _The tone of her voice was pure anger itself, but her expression was careful and collected.

Snape'd have to watch his back.

**Hey, guys! What'd you think? A little too much (smiles sheepishly)? I shouldn't have made it so passionate and long, but you know, I'm really loving this story! The next chapter will be really good, I can assure you, and I'm eagerly waiting for reviews!  
Hugs, love, and all that jazz,**

** Lyricalyrics**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, guys! I know I just posted the first chapter, like, a few seconds ago, but I _really _need to write more! I have a really great idea for this chapter… Hope you like it!**

** Disclaimer: Most of the Pranks here are from 101 or 50 ways to annoy Severus Snape from Youtube, and I'm only going to say it once, because honestly? These disclaimers are crap. I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER EVEN THOUGH I REALLY WISH I DID!**

** . . .**

Elspeth fumed over her lunch, which consisted of steaming chicken broth and a goblet of pumpkin juice, shooting glances every so often at her Potions teacher. Getting out of Slytherin wasn't worth being expelled for, and neither was her greasy Professor. She had a plan though. A plan even the Mauraders would be impressed with. And she wouldn't get caught. She'd make him pay for giving her a bad grade in Potions.

"Hi." A small, timid voice broke her away from her thoughts, and she snapped her head up to see a pretty 1st year girl smiling hesitantly at her. "I'm Martha. Martha Willock, that is. May I-?" She gestured down to the seat, and Elspeth nodded vigorously. "I'm Elspeth Wilson." She smiled at Martha, and Martha smiled back. Their smiles began to turn into goofy grins, and they began laughing.

"Okay, Okay," Elspeth said, still chuckling. "How did you _ever _manage to get into Slytherin?" She asked, her voice laced with curiosity. "Oh, I wanted Ravenclaw, but that stupid hat said that I'd do much better in Slytherin because I was 'vindictive' or some sort of that bullshit." She complained, her voice flat, and Elspeth gave out a little laugh.

"So basically you like… pranking people who have wronged you, right?" Elspeth asked, a sliver of hope creeping into her voice. Martha bit into a small sandwich and nodded. "Yeah, I mean, I like getting my revenge on the people who, you know, are a-holes." Martha sighed. "I think I should explain. See, I was pretty much bullied at my old Muggle School, and now I kind of have a… wicked streak." Elspeth found herself grinning slyly. "In that case…" She explained everything in Potions, and how Snape was a miserable bitch to her, and he threatened her with five months of detention, not that she was scared or anything, but still. _Five months _of bloody detention? Elspeth Wilson didn't put with that.

Martha had listened carefully, and a slow smile spread across her lips. "I'm in. But, you know, I should also get myself into trouble and we can both… harass him during detention." Elspeth nearly choked on her pumpkin juice. "Harass? Er…. I was just thinking we could make his life miserable until we both leave Hogwarts, but that's just me."

But as soon as they were discussing evil plans to get back at their evil Potions professor, lunch was over and Elspeth sighed. "I need to go to the Headmaster. I'll see you back in the Commons Room, alright?" Martha gave her a small smile and then walked away, with all the other swarm of students. She quickly slipped out of her chair and skipped to the Headmaster, who was beginning to rise from his chair. "Hi, Dumbledore." She gave him a small wave and he smiled kindly at her. "Hello, Elspeth. I assume you want to talk to me about your Potions classes?" He asked, and she grinned. "Yup. It doesn't really seem to me that it's so important, unless of course you want to become a Potions instructor. It's quite like the Muggle subject, algebra. Completely useless and a waste of time, if you ask me."

Dumbledore glanced at Snape, who was glaring at the girl with disdain. "Waste of time? Perhaps. But it is mandatory for the standard witch or wizard to go to Potions class, regardless of how bitter their professor might seem." Snape scowled at Dumbledore. "I certainly hope it is not me you are referring to, Albus. And the girl lacks a tiny ounce of respect for me! She must be punished." Snape protested, and Elspeth gave out a large snort. "Yeah, well, news flash: Nobody respects you. We all make fun of you behind your back, and we all think you're a-"

"My dear girl," Dumbledore coughed, trying to steer the conversation back to the matter at hand. "Even if Professor Snape's teachings might be a little… _unbearable_, you should not make fun of your professor like that, even if your insults are quite humorous." He gave a little chuckle, ignoring Snape's sour look. "Regardless, I shall accept Snape's punishment for you, but please do not think ill of me. He is only trying to shape you into the hard-working witch I know is inside."

Elspeth lost her cool, and she turned on Snape. "If I have to stand one more Potions lecture with this _Death Eater," _ She spat out the word like it was a bad taste in her mouth, "I'll make his life a living hell. Don't underestimate me." With that warning, she turned on her heel and stormed out of the Great Hall, leaving a surprised Albus Dumbledore and a fuming Professor Snape behind her.

**. . .**

About a billion classes later, Elspeth rushed to the entrance of Slytherin House, and muttering "Pureblood", rushed inside to see Martha lazily draped across a fluffy green sofa, the fire crackling cozily near them. Elspeth flopped down on the couch and glared into the fire, her silvery blue eyes brilliant in the flames. "I'll kill him- I'll kill that Death Eater, I swear it." She mumbled, and Martha looked over at her. "Elsie, you blabbering about Snape again? Because I have a fantastic idea on how to-"

"No!" Elspeth shouted so loud that a few Slytherins turned to glare at her, and she lowered her voice. "I have the most amazing prank in the history of pranks, something that'll make Zonko's joke shop look like, well, a joke!"

Martha rolled her eyes at the lame joke and propped herself up. "I'm all ears, Elspeth. What do you have?" Elspeth grinned wickedly, and her eyes glinted, the fire still shining off of them so that it made her look slightly evil and seducing all at the same time. She leaned down and bent to whisper in Martha's ear, and just like that they began to form their plan to make Snape's life a total living hell, one that would make him repent for making all of the Gryffindors cry and the Ravenclaws growl and the Hufflepuffs shiver in their robes.

**So, guys, what'd you think? What will Elspeth's prank be… and how will Snape react? He's not going to fall for her until a few chapters more, so sit tight!  
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review PLEASE! I'm really eager to hear your constructive criticism. **


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